so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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