Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
as a side note pls kill me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
