How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I had to cum in my sink.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
