thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
