I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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