put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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