So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My feet surprised me
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
