I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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