ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
