I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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