they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
