okay pat passed out under dana's car
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Randomize
