he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
