Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
