And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
