My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I woke up under a house in Key West
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