I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
