do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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