I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
