It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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