dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
