I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
