my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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