By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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