Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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