the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Randomize