i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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