it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
