Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
babies were throwing up all over the place
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize