the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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