i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize
