I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
