i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
