she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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