he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
