I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize