He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
