Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
