we have pet lesbian snakes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
