saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
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