so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize