God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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