in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize