I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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