I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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