How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
