I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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