I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Randomize
