It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
