My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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