My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
