making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
