I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
How does one acquire holy water?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
