Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Someone came in the potted fern
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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