Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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