Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
