then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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