You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
