i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
