come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
