Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Randomize